I’m a Dair fan & would like to respectfully ask you to clarify: There was talk this season of the “real” B, particularly from Chair fans saying the “real” B would never hurt her friends, & that she had finally emerged when she went to help Chuck & followed him to the casino. It seems the “real” Blair to Chair fans, tho, is always the subservient. The one who is there for her friends, even if they screw her, but her screwing them is MUCH worse than reverse bc the “real” Blair is supposed to be……but why would you want that for Blair? I don’t think it’s strong for a person to keep going back to the subservient position, even if her loyalty is your favorite quality. Why do you all seem to enjoy Blair most when she’s the one being screwed and not doing the screwing? It’s what I think a lot of Dair fans find disturbing. That she is celebrated for being there for C & S, but her pain at their hands is dismissed and you only think it’s “her” if she goes back to laying down for her friends.
Loyalty to people you love =/= subservience. There’s a happy medium, of course- you shouldn’t allow people to use you or walk all over you- but if you don’t care enough about someone to consider their feelings or be there for them when they need you, then you shouldn’t be friends with them at all. So really, if Blair didn’t respect Serena’s feelings enough to try and avoid hurting them, why was she even still her “best friend”?
Regardless, saying that Blair spent earlier seasons “being screwed and not doing the screwing” is a total retcon of GG history. She gave as good as she got back then, both with Chuck and Serena. Remember when she humiliated Serena at the Ivy Mixer? Total social destruction ring a bell? Or when she announced to a (different) college admissions party that Serena killed a guy? Or hey, remember when she shoved Serena into a fountain for getting in to Columbia?
I’m not saying any of this to “bash” Blair, for the record, I loved Blair throughout all of that. But to say she was being screwed over by Serena throughout those seasons is just whitewashing Blair’s character and rewriting history, IMO. It’s similar to the situation with Chuck- up until late S3, the back-and-forth CB dynamic was actually fairly equal. Her selling him out for that freshman speech is a good example- I think both of them are natural schemers and not prone to trusting other people, so it was in-character that it would come between them at some point. And I loved how Chuck was hurt by it, but forgave her almost immediately.
It was only after 3x17- which, in Blair’s own words, is when she “lost herself”- that she started turning into more “victim Blair”. So yes, the effects became most obvious this season, but I think what people have missed for awhile is the vulnerable but strong, loyal but bitchy, take-charge, badass Blair they fell in love with. Because that’s what makes Blair special. This unbearably-pretentious, cutesy, rom-com version of Blair? The one who needs to be rescued from her own bad decisions by Saint Dan? It’s not special, and it’s not appealing… it’s just a total cliche.
Basically, feeling good about yourself because some guy lets you treat him as your lapdog isn’t being strong, and neither is disregarding other people’s feelings or acting like a self-absorbed child. Along the same lines, allowing yourself to be vulnerable to someone you love isn’t being weak, and respecting other people’s feelings isn’t being subservient.
There’s a happy medium between being a raging bitch and being a doormat, so it’s really not an either-or question the way you posed it. Blair can be both strong and loyal, and I look forward to seeing it again in S6.